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Sex positivity is rife with myths such as "you have to be kinky" and "you have to be sexy" and "your body count needs to be through the roof". You also apparently need to know the latest sex tricks in order to be sex positive. 

It has been made to look like being the biggest freak in the room.

Sex positivity isn’t something new within the African space, however. My book Quirky Quick Guide To Having Great Sex notes the historical spaces that sex positivity in Africa used to occupy, looking at the pan-ethnic Sande and Bandu kpanguima. These were safe spaces for teaching pleasure and sharing other sexual knowledge. Within this space, sexual pleasure was seen as a source of energy that needed to be properly engaged with, and the space taught how to do that. 

However, with the rise of monotheistic religions and the colonisation that came with it, sex and sexuality spaces have been greatly repressed and replaced with ideas around "being good moral Christian", prayers circles during political events, and cries of "but think of the children" whenever anyone mentions teaching anything but abstinence.

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Photo by Yaroslava Bondareva on Pexel. Licensed under Creative Commons.